As I've posted before, I admit to being someone who procrastinates. A lot. However, I have yet to really delve into the reason about why I do. My only thought is that I don't wish to fail at whatever I attempt. This is foolish because I know I am smart, clever, and resourceful. I know I can achieve the goals I set forth because I can.
Today I had a serious session at the gym. I didn't wimp out on the elliptical machine, although I had to do my weight exercises from memory as I didn't have my sheet with me. However, I did full sets and reps and I felt very good. I like the feeling that the gym gives me. I'm tired, sweaty, but I feel accomplished. I know I can continue, I just need to make sure I consistently go.
The consistency of my inconsistency has been a very large blemish on my overall character. Thankfully, I've come to accept that that was the past me and I'm working to resolve it. Hell, I'm 26 years old and still living at home working at a job that quite frankly isn't going anywhere. I need to get my life in order.
This "new beginning" is very much similar to the steps a player takes during his turn in the game Magic: The Gathering, (a game I used to help name this blog).
Step 1: Untap - In this the player resets all of his cards into a "Ready" phase. I feel that slowly I am untapping myself and my potential. I'm getting prepared for the many decisions I am going to be faced with as I grow up out of this extended adolescence.
Step 2: Upkeep - During this phase of the player takes care of small abilities of spells, creatures and artifacts (gaining life, making tokens, etc). For me this represents solving current issues with finances, weight and fitness, and overall career aspects.
Step 3: Draw - The player then draws a card from his deck and puts it into his hand. I am slowly drawing conclusions and making plans about what I want to do with myself. Setting forth goals and hopefully meeting them.
There are other steps (pre-combat main phase, combat phase, post-combat main phase, end step) but I just wanted to draw some metaphor from these first few basics.
My hand is spread out in front of me, my future sitting there like a deck of cards. I know I may get mana screwed, I may even have to discard previous assumptions about what I wanted; but I will finish this game. I will, and I'll do my best.
Come Jokulhaups or Wrath of God.